Tball

Here I am getting ready to work another weekend at Granny's House on the Hill. I love my job, I really do. I just am looking forward to another vacation sometime soon. I think it is time for me and the hubby to get some quality alone time. Maybe a mini-vacation will do us good.

 I have a friend that is a mere weeks away from going to NYC at making his recording dream at Sony Records come true! I am so excited for him!

  We got jerseys last night at Tball practice, are scheduled to take pics in the morning. At 8:15. This is ridiculous! Oh well, hopefully I will get home from work in time. I'm glad the jerseys are red, they will fit in well with my Red Friday attire in support of the troops. I am looking forward to the games starting in one week! The kids did so good last night at practice!

Ramblings of an LPN: My Testimony

Ramblings of an LPN: My Testimony: "I am sitting here at nearly 10p.m., just me and the 4 year old. It is so quiet except for the storm going on outside the window. It helps me..."

My Testimony

I am sitting here at nearly 10p.m., just me and the 4 year old. It is so quiet except for the storm going on outside the window. It helps me to reconnect with God and all his awesomeness. I am actually having a time of reflection right now. I look back on some of the silly and foolish things I have done over my years, and I am thankful that my God is a forgiving one. I know no matter what the sin or transgression, he will always welcome me back with open arms. I am thankful for this because He, along with more people than I care to mention, know my faults, my failures. He is the only one who not only forgives, but will forget and move on. Gently urging me to do the right thing. Allowing me to make my own stupid mistakes, and learn from them. I recently come to the realization that I was doing something wrong, and decided to make it right with my heart. I was conflicted by this decision and prayed on it feverishly. I am not one to question or ask God to give me a sign, but on my drive to work one day, I saw a sign that had to be put right in my path to answer my question. The sign simply said "do.rite." I mentioned it to a coworker who informed me this was a political sign for an upcoming election, but I know what it meant to me.  For those of you that know me personally, I am not usually such a vocal religious person. I suppose it is just my time to come to terms with my own salvation.
 I spoke with an old high school friend this morning. I found our roles reversed for a change. This person has been known to be the one reminding me the true glory it is to know God. But today I found myself saying things that I don't think I would have ever had the courage to speak out loud due to my past sins. I am always afraid that I will make Christians look bad to others if I am associated with them. I fear that people judge me and aren't willing to forgive and forget past transgressions and don't want to be a part of something that I belong to if this is how we all are. I am finally realizing that it doesn't matter what people here on Earth think of me, it is not for them to pass judgement. It is only for Him to do that. My school mate told me that I was an angel on earth for the things I do to help others, and my first comment was a scripture I learned as a child, "All fall short of the Glory of God, for all have sinned. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." As I typed those words, I was reminded that no matter what I have done in my past, God has forgiven me and accepts me as I am. God is still wanting me to be in his loving arms no matter what. I know that I have a place in Heaven waiting on me, and I thank God for allowing me the choice to decide to come to Him on my own. I am grateful he has allowed me time on this Earth to do this before it was too late.
 So, as I sit here in the quiet and reflect on the world going on around me, the sound of the rumbling thunder and the flashes of lightening the light of the sky, I am humbled to say I am a Christian. For all my real friends that have prayed relentlessly for my salvation, I thank you and ask you to not stop now.

the Joys of getting older

I have returned to the ob/gyn and gotten the news that I am among a small  percentage (20-25%) of women whose ovaries stop working after a partial hysterectomy. Yay me! Apparently this is  a medical anomaly that has no reason behind it. I am just once again, the winner of the rare but unknown medical diagnosis. We will just add this to the Lupus with no family history and move on. I am still diabetes free, although it runs rampant in my family. So there is an upside to my health issues I suppose. Still awaiting lab results on my Lipid Panel so I can rub it in my mom's face that my cholesterol remains below 200 despite the non-exercising pig that I am.
  On a more cheerful note, T-ball practice begins in full swing next week and I am a coach. I don't know what I was thinking volunteering to do this, but it is with my baby of 6 boys, so it is the last time I will get to do this. I want to thank my employer for sponsoring my team. I am fortunate that I work for a company that takes an interest in its employees family lives as well as their professional ones. When the jerseys come in, I will be sure to post pics of me and the team wearing them! Seriously, I am excited that I am doing this with my baby. It is hard to believe he is already 4 years old. Seems like yesterday I was crying over weaning him off the breast to begin nursing school. And I do hope the head coach realizes that I was not being funny when I told him I wanted to be one of those coaches that stands at a base and yells "run here!" and not one of the coaches that actually does any physical activity. I am truly getting lazier by the minute.
  I had a great night at work, it is nights like last night that make me feel like a "real nurse". I know regardless of how boring a shift at a LTC can be, I am still a nurse, but sometimes it makes me feel proud of myself when there are things going on that utilize my skills further than my being a walking pharmacology encyclopedia! I have been really far more appreciate of my career since I took my very first vacation in February. I didn't realize what a break from the job I needed until I had the break. It really helped me to go back to work refreshed and ready to do more than the bare minimum for my Residents.
 I saw where I am picking up followers on Twitter, so I thought I might need to actually start contributing more to the blog than I have been. Even though I don't get paid for this, I do enjoy blogging and really should make more ME time doing things I enjoy. The older I get, the more important I realize that it isn't a saying that only  "rich" or "selfish" moms say, it is a necessity for moms. The busier a mom is, the more crucial it is for her to make time for herself. It takes such small things to keep a mom from going over the edge and keeping her loose hold on sanity. Things such as a few minutes a day playing Facebook games, or blogging, meditating, or whatever it is that brings calm to someone will help. Personally, I love to brag that I am on Day 94 of Playing Cafe World on Facebook. A small victory to some, but a major one to me. To me, this is something I enjoy, and I make the 15 minutes a day to play the game just for me. For those moms out there like me that don't even get to use the bathroom alone unless you are at work, this is a major milestone of doing something for me.
   I hope everyone has a great weekend! Don't forget to check out the full moon this weekend. Here's a bit about it from CNN:
     (CNN) -- If the moon looks a little bit bigger and brighter this weekend,                                                                                                                      there's a reason for that. It is.Saturday's full moon will be a super "perigee moon" -- the biggest in almost 20 years. This celestial event is far rarer than the famed blue moon, which happens once about every two-and-a-half years. 


Also, please continue to pray and do anything you can to help the victims of Japan's disaster. First the earthquake, then the tsunami, and now the radiation problems, the people there need some help from God and everyone else on this planet to get themselves and their country back in living conditions.This is truly a horrible thing that has happened and brings back strong memories of Katrina a few years ago. I well remember what it was like to have gasoline rationed, no running water to drink, no hot water to bathe and no electricity to even do laundry. I was fortunate to live in an area that after only 3 weeks of living in stone age conditions, was able to return to life as I knew it. Sadly, it will take much longer than that for the people in Japan.


 Well, until next time!

Long time no type!

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted anything! So much has happened since then, so I'll get down to it. In November, I was off work for 2 weeks due to having a hysterectomy. I admit now that I went back to work sooner than I should have. It made full recovery a little longer than it should have, but I'm no worse for it now. Thanksgiving came and went as did Christmas and New Year's. Valentine's Day and my birthday. I am currently on day 5 out of a 7 day vacation. I have finally gotten around to some spring cleaning at home and my mind and body is in such a better place from this vacation! I have always heard about "burn out" from nurses, but didn't think it applied to me seeing as I have only been a nurse for little over 2 years now. I have been at the same place of employment now for 13 months and still am extremely happy there. However, I have noticed that I'm a wee bit crabby (ok, a LOT bit!) lately both at work and at home. But until around day 3 of vacation, I didn't recognize the cloud of stress that lifted from me until it was gone! So I suppose I was ready for a vacation from work after all! I am looking forward to returning to work in 3 days, but I know I am going to enjoy myself this weekend at home and return to work a much happier and ready to serve nurse than I was last weekend.

  I have learned to enjoy the small moments at home, such as going to the local laundrymat to do 18 loads of laundry with my 3 year old. We were the only ones there and we had such fun just the two of us! It was such a relief to not have to spend 3 days straight doing laundry at home. I have actually felt like getting up off the couch and doing stuff the past few days, which is not how I normally feel after working. It has been wonderful to sleep at night in my bed, instead of during the day getting woke up constantly by kids, phone and lights or sounds of the daytime. I have spent far too much time on Facebook playing games, but it's ok because I was on a paid vacation to level up on Cafe World and Farmville!

  We still have a pregnant horse that we hope is due the end of this month. I'm excited to have my first colt born! I know I summed up the last 4 months pretty quickly, but I am just excited to see warm weather and brighter days ahead! I love spring and summer so much! I can go back to it being daylight when I go to work instead of it being dark at 5:30pm when I leave for work. Not to mention it is getting time for doing yardwork and a garden. Nothing like fresh veggies you harvest from your own garden!

Let go and let God

I have been awake for about 32 hours now, so I'm not sure how much sense this post will make. I know that I  have to try to put into words the emotions I felt this morning as I witnessed a life end in front of me. I have been a  nurse for over 2 years now. I have been fortunate to not have to deal with patients dying often on my shift. I have however helped out other nurses who have patients pass away. It happens that this was not my patient and not even a lady I could have pointed out in a line up if required; but was familiar with the name and the fact that she is a Resident at our Long Term Care Facility. Her end of life story in my words ends as follows.

Her sister was there with her at her bedside, determined that she wouldn't die alone like so many in nursing homes do. Her husband, who is also a resident, was across the hall in his room worrying not for his own failing health; but that of his beloved wife of so many years. Her sister calmly asked throughout the night was her breathing normal, (no it wasn't.) She asked if she was on Hospice. (No she wasn't, yet.) She came out in the hall to tell the nurse "I think she's gone." I accompanied the nurse into the room with the Dynamap. No vital signs were registering. I put my stethoscope to her chest, and at the cold sensation, she took a breath and slowly breathed her last. I left my stethoscope over her heart listening to her heart as it  began to slow until it beat no more. It is a feeling I am unable to properly put into words exactly how it felt to watch as another human being took her last breath and listened with my ears as her heart stopped beating. I am a firm believer of God and that life and death are both miracles in and of themselves. I have witnessed childbirth by others and delivered 3 of my own. It is nothing other than a miracle how something that starts in a moment of passion can come into this world kicking and screaming and be a work of art designed by no one less than God. I learned this morning that the end of life is just as miraculous when God calls one of his own home once their journey on Earth is complete. I have never been fascinated with the process of death and do not think it is something that I will ever completely become comfortable seeing. It is heartwrenching to be the one to call the family to come to the nursing home and not be able to tell them what is going on until they get there. It is even more painful to meet that family in the lobby as they rush in to see Mother one more time before she goes, to break the news that she is already gone. I have been blessed with being able to let families know in such a manner that they are comforted in their immense time of grief; if that is even plausible. I remember my mother being the one to call me and simply state, "He's gone." when my beloved Daddy passed away. She is a no-nonsense type person and that must be where I get my no BS mentality. However; there is just never a good way to tell someone that the people they have loved and known their entire lives are no longer here anymore. It is during the many times I have broken the news and comforted families that I realized--we need the dying more than they need us. These are the people that have been the rock for our foundations for so long we don't know where to turn. These are the people that have loved and comforted us in countless times of grief from the smallest of boo-boos to the largest of heart aches. Who will comfort us now in our time of need? Who will be the rock for us to lean on and lead us in the right direction in life? Who will love us now? The answer is simple; we just aren't ready to accept what God is telling us. It is our time to lead. Our loved ones have done their work as God intended them to do. He is ready for us to take on life on our on. Countless Seniors have passed on these words at times when we didn't want to accept what they have to say--God will never put more on us than we can bear. No one has ever died from the load on their shoulders being too heavy.


I have typed many words here tonight,  yet I still am unable to say what it is that I felt at the moment I heard her last heartbeat. I do know that it is a feeling that changed me and how I perceive death. I was somehow comforted by none other than God. I finally learned tonight a phrase I have used myself countless times, but until today didn't fully understand....Let go and let God.

Back in the groove of things

Well I finally got used to working on my new hall. I have learned to absolutely LOVE it! My new patients are so quiet and content, I just don't know how to act! I am finally used to their meds now and med pass goes smoothly for me. I am learning to step outside of my comfort zone and try new things instead of being so stuck in my routine both professionally and personally. I went shopping alone last week for the first time. It was nice to get out of the house without any kids. It was strange and I had some guilt over it; but I soon got over that!  Our administrator recognized me at our last faculty meeting--for commenting on an article. In his own words "he missed the boat on that one." My friends made fun of me for correcting him on the fact that I wrote the article. But if I'm gonna be recognized at least it can be for the right thing!

This is my weekend off and so far I am enjoying it! Today I have plans of doing nothing and taking all day to do it! I did take pleasure in going outside with the kids and watching them clean the yard and cut the grass around the house so I can use the riding mower on it later when I am ready to get out of the house again. A friend of mine remarked that I shouldn't have to cut the grass with 6 boys and a husband, but I had to clarify that only one that fits on a riding mower at  a time so it is peaceful for me. Plus I know it gets done right. I have seen the handy work of the kids cutting grass and it's not a pretty thing. I am thinking I will go do some grocery shopping and cook something I want to eat today. Since my daughter has been doing most of the cooking after I leave for work; I have been eating a lot of Subway salads.  It will be nice to eat some real food for a change! Well I hope the week goes well for you and me both!