Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Ramblings of an LPN: My Testimony

Ramblings of an LPN: My Testimony: "I am sitting here at nearly 10p.m., just me and the 4 year old. It is so quiet except for the storm going on outside the window. It helps me..."

My Testimony

I am sitting here at nearly 10p.m., just me and the 4 year old. It is so quiet except for the storm going on outside the window. It helps me to reconnect with God and all his awesomeness. I am actually having a time of reflection right now. I look back on some of the silly and foolish things I have done over my years, and I am thankful that my God is a forgiving one. I know no matter what the sin or transgression, he will always welcome me back with open arms. I am thankful for this because He, along with more people than I care to mention, know my faults, my failures. He is the only one who not only forgives, but will forget and move on. Gently urging me to do the right thing. Allowing me to make my own stupid mistakes, and learn from them. I recently come to the realization that I was doing something wrong, and decided to make it right with my heart. I was conflicted by this decision and prayed on it feverishly. I am not one to question or ask God to give me a sign, but on my drive to work one day, I saw a sign that had to be put right in my path to answer my question. The sign simply said "do.rite." I mentioned it to a coworker who informed me this was a political sign for an upcoming election, but I know what it meant to me.  For those of you that know me personally, I am not usually such a vocal religious person. I suppose it is just my time to come to terms with my own salvation.
 I spoke with an old high school friend this morning. I found our roles reversed for a change. This person has been known to be the one reminding me the true glory it is to know God. But today I found myself saying things that I don't think I would have ever had the courage to speak out loud due to my past sins. I am always afraid that I will make Christians look bad to others if I am associated with them. I fear that people judge me and aren't willing to forgive and forget past transgressions and don't want to be a part of something that I belong to if this is how we all are. I am finally realizing that it doesn't matter what people here on Earth think of me, it is not for them to pass judgement. It is only for Him to do that. My school mate told me that I was an angel on earth for the things I do to help others, and my first comment was a scripture I learned as a child, "All fall short of the Glory of God, for all have sinned. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." As I typed those words, I was reminded that no matter what I have done in my past, God has forgiven me and accepts me as I am. God is still wanting me to be in his loving arms no matter what. I know that I have a place in Heaven waiting on me, and I thank God for allowing me the choice to decide to come to Him on my own. I am grateful he has allowed me time on this Earth to do this before it was too late.
 So, as I sit here in the quiet and reflect on the world going on around me, the sound of the rumbling thunder and the flashes of lightening the light of the sky, I am humbled to say I am a Christian. For all my real friends that have prayed relentlessly for my salvation, I thank you and ask you to not stop now.

Friday, March 18, 2011

the Joys of getting older

I have returned to the ob/gyn and gotten the news that I am among a small  percentage (20-25%) of women whose ovaries stop working after a partial hysterectomy. Yay me! Apparently this is  a medical anomaly that has no reason behind it. I am just once again, the winner of the rare but unknown medical diagnosis. We will just add this to the Lupus with no family history and move on. I am still diabetes free, although it runs rampant in my family. So there is an upside to my health issues I suppose. Still awaiting lab results on my Lipid Panel so I can rub it in my mom's face that my cholesterol remains below 200 despite the non-exercising pig that I am.
  On a more cheerful note, T-ball practice begins in full swing next week and I am a coach. I don't know what I was thinking volunteering to do this, but it is with my baby of 6 boys, so it is the last time I will get to do this. I want to thank my employer for sponsoring my team. I am fortunate that I work for a company that takes an interest in its employees family lives as well as their professional ones. When the jerseys come in, I will be sure to post pics of me and the team wearing them! Seriously, I am excited that I am doing this with my baby. It is hard to believe he is already 4 years old. Seems like yesterday I was crying over weaning him off the breast to begin nursing school. And I do hope the head coach realizes that I was not being funny when I told him I wanted to be one of those coaches that stands at a base and yells "run here!" and not one of the coaches that actually does any physical activity. I am truly getting lazier by the minute.
  I had a great night at work, it is nights like last night that make me feel like a "real nurse". I know regardless of how boring a shift at a LTC can be, I am still a nurse, but sometimes it makes me feel proud of myself when there are things going on that utilize my skills further than my being a walking pharmacology encyclopedia! I have been really far more appreciate of my career since I took my very first vacation in February. I didn't realize what a break from the job I needed until I had the break. It really helped me to go back to work refreshed and ready to do more than the bare minimum for my Residents.
 I saw where I am picking up followers on Twitter, so I thought I might need to actually start contributing more to the blog than I have been. Even though I don't get paid for this, I do enjoy blogging and really should make more ME time doing things I enjoy. The older I get, the more important I realize that it isn't a saying that only  "rich" or "selfish" moms say, it is a necessity for moms. The busier a mom is, the more crucial it is for her to make time for herself. It takes such small things to keep a mom from going over the edge and keeping her loose hold on sanity. Things such as a few minutes a day playing Facebook games, or blogging, meditating, or whatever it is that brings calm to someone will help. Personally, I love to brag that I am on Day 94 of Playing Cafe World on Facebook. A small victory to some, but a major one to me. To me, this is something I enjoy, and I make the 15 minutes a day to play the game just for me. For those moms out there like me that don't even get to use the bathroom alone unless you are at work, this is a major milestone of doing something for me.
   I hope everyone has a great weekend! Don't forget to check out the full moon this weekend. Here's a bit about it from CNN:
     (CNN) -- If the moon looks a little bit bigger and brighter this weekend,                                                                                                                      there's a reason for that. It is.Saturday's full moon will be a super "perigee moon" -- the biggest in almost 20 years. This celestial event is far rarer than the famed blue moon, which happens once about every two-and-a-half years. 

Also, please continue to pray and do anything you can to help the victims of Japan's disaster. First the earthquake, then the tsunami, and now the radiation problems, the people there need some help from God and everyone else on this planet to get themselves and their country back in living conditions.This is truly a horrible thing that has happened and brings back strong memories of Katrina a few years ago. I well remember what it was like to have gasoline rationed, no running water to drink, no hot water to bathe and no electricity to even do laundry. I was fortunate to live in an area that after only 3 weeks of living in stone age conditions, was able to return to life as I knew it. Sadly, it will take much longer than that for the people in Japan.

 Well, until next time!