Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My Testimony

I am sitting here at nearly 10p.m., just me and the 4 year old. It is so quiet except for the storm going on outside the window. It helps me to reconnect with God and all his awesomeness. I am actually having a time of reflection right now. I look back on some of the silly and foolish things I have done over my years, and I am thankful that my God is a forgiving one. I know no matter what the sin or transgression, he will always welcome me back with open arms. I am thankful for this because He, along with more people than I care to mention, know my faults, my failures. He is the only one who not only forgives, but will forget and move on. Gently urging me to do the right thing. Allowing me to make my own stupid mistakes, and learn from them. I recently come to the realization that I was doing something wrong, and decided to make it right with my heart. I was conflicted by this decision and prayed on it feverishly. I am not one to question or ask God to give me a sign, but on my drive to work one day, I saw a sign that had to be put right in my path to answer my question. The sign simply said "do.rite." I mentioned it to a coworker who informed me this was a political sign for an upcoming election, but I know what it meant to me.  For those of you that know me personally, I am not usually such a vocal religious person. I suppose it is just my time to come to terms with my own salvation.
 I spoke with an old high school friend this morning. I found our roles reversed for a change. This person has been known to be the one reminding me the true glory it is to know God. But today I found myself saying things that I don't think I would have ever had the courage to speak out loud due to my past sins. I am always afraid that I will make Christians look bad to others if I am associated with them. I fear that people judge me and aren't willing to forgive and forget past transgressions and don't want to be a part of something that I belong to if this is how we all are. I am finally realizing that it doesn't matter what people here on Earth think of me, it is not for them to pass judgement. It is only for Him to do that. My school mate told me that I was an angel on earth for the things I do to help others, and my first comment was a scripture I learned as a child, "All fall short of the Glory of God, for all have sinned. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." As I typed those words, I was reminded that no matter what I have done in my past, God has forgiven me and accepts me as I am. God is still wanting me to be in his loving arms no matter what. I know that I have a place in Heaven waiting on me, and I thank God for allowing me the choice to decide to come to Him on my own. I am grateful he has allowed me time on this Earth to do this before it was too late.
 So, as I sit here in the quiet and reflect on the world going on around me, the sound of the rumbling thunder and the flashes of lightening the light of the sky, I am humbled to say I am a Christian. For all my real friends that have prayed relentlessly for my salvation, I thank you and ask you to not stop now.

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